Elon Is Having A Week

First his rocket failed spectacularly not only blowing up the rocket but completely destroying the launch pad because it didn't have a feature that Elon publicly said it didn't need, and then he of course pushed the launch date up because he thought launching on 420 would be cool. At this rate he may single handedly cause the world to go back to making weed illegal. 

Then on Twitter famous people have verified accounts so that people can't impersonate them. Musk and his followers have gotten it in their head that this is some kind of elitist thing when in fact verified accounts were put in place in the early days of Twitter after someone impersonated some star in order to set up dates with under age girls. 

Now under Musks brilliant leadership anyone can buy a verified account for $8 a month and be one of the cool kids. The only problem is all the famous people said fuck you Musk we aren't paying you to help you bring viewers to your site, and now all the people who bought verified accounts are not only not cool but are advertising to the world that they are in the dork club. Musk needed to sell 40 million subscriptions to make up for the revenue he lost from advertisers because he turned Twitter into a Nazi bar.

So Musk sensing a problem starts giving people like Lebron James and Steven King their verified account status back, but by now no one wants to be in the dork club so they all start pubically stating that they didn't pay and would never pay getting into public fights with Musk.

Now Musk is in a panic and decides to give all accounts with a million followers verified status in order to make it look like people are buying his subscription, but people start noticing a lot of dead people like Kobe Bryant and Jamal Khashoggi have decided to verify their accounts from the grave. 

Meanwhile Tesla stock price dropped 20 pts on Friday and this all plays out in a public forum.

As one person said it's like everyone on the Titanic lining up to kick the captain in the balls one by one instead of getting on a life raft.