Fun Things About Raising Kids

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The teachable awkward moments.  Like when they point and loudly say "Dad, why does that man only have one leg?"

 

Today as we were walking to the car when I picked up my daughter from school there was two guys walking towards us, one being a midget.  Now these two guys we're kind of shady looking (shadiest midget I've ever seen).  They were brown-bagging tall cans walking past an elementary school at Noon.  So I started mentally preparing for one of the kids to say something inappropriate (my daughter has outwardly expressed her disgust at someones dreadlocks before).

 

Lucked out.  They we're too busy splashing in puddles to say anything.

Haha!

Many years ago, on a crowded street, the same situation and the four year old yells out hey ma, look at the little man! 

When my son was maybe 2 we were out to breakfast. He screamed, "I don't like Christ!" The entire place went quiet. What he meant to scream was, "I don't like crust."

On a family vacation, we were having a lovely lunch outside in Provincetown. My son yelled, "It's the guy from Reading Rainbow! Why is he wearing a skirt?" The first teachable moment was that not all black people are Lavar Burton. The second was that men can also wear skirts.

>>>"Dad, why does that man only have one leg?"

 

Or "Daddy, is that a man or a woman?"

Brian, your entire post made my morning. Just awesome!

Funny, thought I was through those years...now I go out to lunch with my demented mother, "Look at that man, he's so fat!"

 

My six year old at a crosswalk the other day says to one of our urban youth......"you're pants are falling down."

 

Without skipping a beat the eight year old says, "it's OK, that's just the style, he actually wants them that way."

I told this one on the old Zone a long time ago.

As a gag gift my coworkers got me a Hustler or Oui magazine. I can't remember which one, but it wasn't classy. I threw it in the bottom of my sock drawer, and there it lived, never to be seen or heard from.

One morning I was in the shower. My then wife was busy doing something in the bedroom, and my daughter, around 2 y/o, was keeping herself busy in my sock drawer, browsing the pictures in the magazine.

By the time I got out of he shower, my ex was explaining away 2 chicks, a very large double sided dildo, and why they were kissing "down there." I think the explanation had to do with a medical check-up.

 

I had the good fortune to attend a Boston Celtics practice back in the 80's with my brother-in-law and nephew. At one point they invited us onto the floor to visit with players. My nephew was 5 or 6. We were being introduced to KC Jones when the kid says "Mr Jones....your black!"  KC says "yes young man, I have been my whole life". The kid responds "no, no, no, not black like Benson, really really black". KC burst out laughing. Brother-in-law just shook his lowered head. 

Brian, you told that story in 99.  It's the one that made me stop lurking and join. 

 

I remember you saying your wife was upset so you said let's ask her what she saw.  I think it was "I saw two mommys and one mommy was helping the other mommy get a baby out with her mouth."

 

I was working at a bank at the time and laughed really loud when I read that and everybody looked over at me.

Not many black people where I live. When my daughter was about 3, a young black man came to the door to sell something. The first thing my daughter asked was if he was a basketball player. He was cool about it. 

Had 2 "little people" living next to us for about 3 years.

Shit never stopped with my boys and the questions.

They had a son who was normal sized and would come over and get drunk and throw his dads walker in the pool.

They bought most of their furniture at toys are us.

They also had a short 18 inch dog leash on the mail box so they can open it and reach up and get their hand in the bottom of it and get their mail. They then swung the door up real hard to close it till the next day.

Came over every day wanting me to move or pick something up for them.  They scared the fuck out of my kids.

I was in Shop Rite in Mount Pocono and my daughter was 3 at the time and had been learning the different continents and some countries.  Out of nowhere she yells "Dad, I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO AFRICA". We were in the Caribbean isle getting curry and there was a black lady in a dashiki who shot me an inquisitive look, I said "hello" and we both chuckled a little.

Timmy, you have a great memory. I couldn't remember the details, but I'm glad you did. It's a better story. I knew it was something medical.

Tapecat liked that story so much he sent me a bunch of CDs!

>>>>>>Timmy, you have a great memory.

 

Some burnouts find it very creepy. 

When we first moved back to NY area we were attending a Fourth of July party at a friends biz and the party was attended by all sorts of people. There was a midget attending and my cute nearly 5 year old daughter says to him " whats up with you? your my height but old "....

When my daughter asked if it was a man or a woman (a bagger at some natural foods store in Travis City, Mi), my wife whispered a bit too clearly, "it's a man, my love" and picked her up and the person looked over at me none too pleased.  I think she was a male to female transgender. 

Teachable moment for my daughter and my wife, that one.