The Red Tesla is gone and so is she

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My  next door neighbor drove a Red Tesla. She and her family were very private people and weren't very close with the neighbors. They were from Turkey and would go back to visit family there in the summers. 

We used to  get together for tea and chat briefly in passing. She was always very anxious and constantly worried about something. Her husband was very controlling  about everything. She didn't work after marriage  and was expected to do everything around the house and manage the kids. 

Things got really strange  during Covid, and she became very reclusive and super paranoid. I think that's when she stopped talking to most of the neighbors. One of our mutual friends - who happens to be a therapist - was able to stay in touch with her, and they'd go out for coffee on occasion. Probably her "best friend" or closest thing to it.

Her husband was not social at all and one of the other neighbors asked me if I ever heard him yelling at her. From her house she could hear some violent out bursts  and last year  said "I think he's going to kill someone in that house".  I thought that neighbor was over reacting. 

Anyway, the mailman stopped me last month and asked where she was. He isn't one to gossip but seemed concerned. Told me he held their mail over the summer when they were traveling  but he hadn't seen her since. I just shrugged and said "oh, she probably stayed in Turkey  to help her parents". Really didn't think much about it.  And honestly, I didn't care. 

Someone else asked me about her Red Tesla not being parked where it usually was. I again assumed she was out of town and maybe her kid took the car to University. 

Then things got stranger. Another neighbor asked me about her and was concerned cause she hadn't been seen for months.  I said, ask her husband. I didn't want to get involved and thought folks were over reacting. I know, not what you'd expect from ME..lol.

Anyway, about  a week later I thought about it some more and did some googling. I like doing sleuthing, that part about me hasn't changed. 

 I figured out her Turkish name and matched up wth her husband and previous address in Washington. One search turned up a page that showed her date of birth  and then listed "deceased".  Couldn't find anything else. 

So I reached out to the other Turkish family in our neighborhood who were somewhat close with the family years ago. They told me she died in July from cancer, and they haven't been able to talk to her husband or two teenage boys. Her husband didn't want to discuss it any further and asked they not tell anyone.

 I still haven't spoken to the mailman, but I did tell one of the neighbors who asked me about her. I mean, it's been 6 months. The nice neighbor in our  'hood said,  "let's do a meal train." I replied,  "don't you dare,  he doesn't even want us to know". And it's a little late..

Meanwhile I reached out to our mutual friend, the therapist whose been really busy with some classes. I said "Look, you don't have to tell me anything, but some of the neighbors were asking what happened to her.." She was in shock and disbelief when I shared what I was told. She couldn't understand why her friend wouldn't have told her that she had cancer or why the husband wouldn't share that she died. I had wrongly assumed that the therapist was aware but respecting the husband's wishes of secrecy. Nope, she called her friend's phone repeatedly hoping she'd pick up. She's probably still calling..

Now, I watch way too many crime dramas,  so I'm not sure of anything.

Today I saw Red Tesla pull into her usual parking space. I stood there staring and thinking she might step out of the car. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone and that she didn't even tell her best friend that she was dealing with Cancer and that it could have been diagnosed and killed her in the two months the family was out of town?!  

 

Yeah, I know people all grieve in their own ways, and even if it wasn't a cancer death, what difference does it make.. err  what difference would knowing make? Sad situation for her boys, really hope they don't grow up to be like their father. 

 

 

She's gone, and nothings gonna bring her back. 

 

 

https://www.npr.org/2019/09/15/760135010/we-dont-want-to-die-women-in-tu...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heartfelt and moving Nancy .....

 

Whoa. Sad no matter what, but, strange too.

Any strange looking mounds in their backyard, or off-putting odors around the property? Dogs digging up odd looking bones?

The dark secrets of Menlo Dark.

She was probably killed in Turkey.

So many words

>She was probably killed in Turkey.

 

 

There is an epidemic of "honor" killings (Femicide) in Turkey, so that's certainly a possibility. 

 

 

>Any strange looking mounds in their backyard, or off-putting odors around the property? Dogs digging up odd looking bones?

 

Not that I can see from my Rear Window 

This is your business how?

I thought we were calling it Turkiya now

H. Dave, I wouldn't know about what's Nancy's business, but this touches community in a couple of very important ways.

The well-being of our neighbors is our business, at least if there are indications that their lives may be in danger. It's not TV, it's real life.
That a neighbor may be the victim of culturally-allowed (or encouraged) murder is our concern and business.

Being a woman creates different sensitivities (and I don't mean oh, my, frail women) to the safety of other women. I feel like I have a responsibility and it is my business if a neighbor's life is at risk at the hand of another. You don't?

>I thought we were calling it Turkiya now<

....now that's funny

 

It's just as probable that the woman was suffering from some illness and the family was choosing to keep her treatment and ultimately her passing a private matter.

I hear you about checking on your neighbors and looking out for your community, but that is better served by direct intervention (knocking at their door and inquiring, or perhaps asking the proper authorities to do a wellness check) rather than gossiping about it on a DBMB.

>I thought we were calling it Turkiya now<

....now that's funny

 

 

It's actually true too, Via the UN Turkey changed its spelling to Türkiye in 2021. The same year they also openly encouraged violence against women. I wish I could have done something to save her life if indeed there was foul play. I can't believe she wouldn't at least call and say goodbye to her best friend. And neither can her best friend. 

 

https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2021/07/turkeys-withdrawal-from-t...

 

 

 

 

Good on ya Nancy, for caring. 

And the MAGA nation turns it's eyes wistfully toward Turkey.

 

 

Is it fair to say that we are not an evolving species?

More like revolving species

 

Or revolving feces if the shit has hit the fan.

If Nancy can solve a murder mystery before Dec 31, she definitely wins ZOTY.  (Kudos for helping expose the dog abuse scandal.)

However it seems plausible that in this case the neighbors don't want to share private and tragic events with non-family members.

Screenshot 2024-12-11 225335.png

Alan, the only sleuthing was confirming the death of my nextdoor neighbor 6 months after the fact. If she died in Turkey, whatever the cause, we'll never know. It's not as if Turkish officials would even hold her husband accountable if he had a hand in her disappearance.

 


 

 

Well I wish you would take a crack at it. The Zone loves a good mystery.

Around here we've finished watching mostly all the PBS Masterpiece series featuring woman detectives, including Frankie Drake, Miss Scarlet,  Luna and Sophie, Miss Fisher, Astrid, Annika, Sister Boniface and even Japanese Sherlock (also a woman). Based on what I've learned, I'm leaning toward slow-acting poison on the steering wheel of the red Tesla.

You might have to sneak your way into the neighbor's house to search for clues. Cleaning lady? Seductress? Radon inspector? 

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