Translation Fun

Forums:

Bought a new bag to replace my way-past-beat leather backpack.  The tag attached read, verbatim, as follows:

 

1.  And after cleaning, natural air put ventilation shade don't put the sun tan or put the blasting where, in case of high temperature baking refund adhesive or degum, accelerated aging.

2.  General labor rubber shoes don't and acid and alkali, salt exposure to chemicals, lest suffer corrosion degum deformation.

3.  And when cleaning force should gently and evenly. Do not force fierce brush, lest short line, or brush off the shoe body design and decoration parts.

4.  Avoid and sharp sharp objects contact, to prevent scratch ripped.

5.  For white canvas, not with the carbon ink, and no on it is difficult to clean items contact. The color of the canvas clean in besmear after toothpaste, or white chalk powder.

Note to even, then dry, can prevent discoloration. OR find two pieces of white clean paper on top, dry by after tear. May also prevent discoloration.

 

OK, then.

 

 

I'm trying to figure out which language this was translated from, and I can't tell. Is it Italian? 

I'm still trying to make a package of noodles that instructs to boil water at 180 degrees....

>> I'm still trying to make a package of noodles that instructs to boil water at 180 degrees....

Lower the pressure in the room? Go to Everest?

Got a chuckle at this attempt in Portugal:

 

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I'm trying to figure out which language this was translated from, and I can't tell. Is it Italian? 

 

Pretty sure it was Chinese.  The logo says "S.C. Cotton."  At first I thought "South Carolina".  But now I'm thinking "Shenzhen Corp."

"My HoverCraft is full of Eels;  Bouncy-bouncy..."