Love, Relationships and all that goes with it..

I've been with the same "Mate" for forty years, so anything outside of that monogamous relationship blows my addled mind.

Curious to follow this thread, though.

I miss you Jughead :(

Isn't "poly" a loving relationship between more than 2 people, where all are equal in it?

To each their own - I'm all for consenting adults doing whatever makes them happy; one, two, three, it doesn't matter to me.

That said, one is more than enough for me, and sometimes too much!

When I was very young my first husband and I lived with another man. We were living as a family, but the sex was only between my husband and me, or them. It became complicated because it never felt balanced and uneasy jealousy developed. Actually, that was the only time in my life that I seriously considered suicide. For a little while I was too sad and fucked up to see the way to a better space, but then we found our way, and the other guy moved first out of our bedroom and then out of the house.

I have been in easy relationships with men who also were involved with other women, but not all of us together. That was a time in my life where I didn't need more than "friendly fucks", not people on whom I could count emotionally in a relationship, but where we were all friends.

When I got older (like 40) I found that not only excitement, sex and romance mattered, but companionship with that person, in my case, Greg, was as important, too. It feels right that we were only involved with each other.

I've lived with some Women,  mainly the monogamous type.  They tend to get jealous when other Women get nearby.  For example,  I could be out having Lunch with some lady and 'main Woman' shows up and makes funny faces,  frightening away innocent Lunch lady.

It's not like we were naked,  just catching a Snack.  I believe the Ovaries and Fallopian Glands are highly-developed Radar Antennae which detect potential Boy-Girl luncheon bonding.

On a peripheral topic,  many Dogs are jealous of others.  You pet a different Dog,  and the main one is right there demanding attention.  Hüsky,  however,  is not the jealous type.  If we are at Dog Park and I pet other Dogs,  he is unconcerned.  If Hüsky stayed home while I went  out somewhere,  and met another Dog,  he smells that Dog-Stank but is not offended;  rather he thinks that it's fascinating that I'm out mingling with his distant cousins.

He is a 'Working Dog' breed and enjoys interacting with his peers,  forming Packs  with those he considers capable of The Mission.

You need to be properly adored by one person, Scarlet. Like i got. 

Settle for no less. 

Polygamy would take to much out of you is what i truly believe in your case. You've done some dating; you know what feels best for you. 

For folks that does work for, i say, have as much love as you can successfully negotiate 

The love you take is equal to the love you make.

I've been with my partners for eight years and I really couldn't be happier. I think monagamy is difficult because it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to be "everything" for their partner. Having done both: I wouldn't be that interested in a traditional monogamous relationship. Luckily that's a moot point. 

all ya need is one good one...(imo)

one is usually more than enough (imo)

finding said good one is the key...dont settle for anything but the best, doesnt mean ya cant have fun in the search....we all deserve to be happy...

i will say...dating these days sux...i liked it so much better when i was a drunk....lol...just wish i  could remember how much fun i had

"And if you can't be with the one you love honey, Love the one you're with"

"We can share the women, we can share the wine" 

Not surprised Stu posted about his dog in a discussion about love and relationships.

Jealousy can be the ugliest of emotions. You have to have real inner strength to make through a poly with any success, and the right partners too.  I dont know if monogamy is natural except with the right partner.  Tough emotional stuff.  Glad to see so many open minds here.

IMO the term "share" doesn't really apply to relationships. People aren't possessions. 

"...Not surprised Stu posted about his dog in a discussion about love and relationships..."

But of course!  I also post about Hüsky in threads about Cattle,  plumbing,  convection ovens,  Chinese gemstones,   modern fabrics and Television.  My actual point was that he's not the jealous type.  In fact,  he likes Girls,  and thinks it's Fun when company comes over.

Also,  he manages to introduce me to all sorts of Women.  I think he's trying to get me Hitched so he can have more Hu-persons to play with.

>>>People aren't possessions. 

Sadly enough, many people never understand that.

married for 19 yrs, freed for 7....never polygamous...one was enough

being on your own schedule for too long spoils the shit out of a person

and I have a hard time imagining being with someone again and having to adapt to their attitudes/ likes/ dislikes/ baggage, etc.......fuck that

Although, if a 50ish vegetarian/ vegan stoner gal who can clone/ veg/ flower and consistently produce clean spore prints were to come along.....froggy might go a courtin'

nice thread

exactly mcdoobs....thats why i dont say "my ex"...i say, luke s mom etc...as , she is not "my" anything....now, or before

Is this the Cosmo mag. folder??

<<Also,  he manages to introduce me to all sorts of Women. 

sitting in your truck,  waiting for the neighborhood high school bell to ring doesn't count. 

So Poly is multiple hookers and monogamous is just one hooker. Correct??

You weirdos fixated upon hookers and underage girls are all messed-up in the head.

Hüsky & I meet Girls at Churches,  Synagogues,  Farmers Markets and Department stores.  

Those are all great venues with wholesome young Ladies full of morality and clean Living.

Stu by Mike Pence standards having a sit down meal with any woman outside of your partner is...NO BUENO!

Is Husky mono? Send him off leash I bet all my cash he's poly.

Trust is huge.

>>> Trust is huge. <<<

Trust, respect.

Not surprised Stu posted about his dog in a discussion about love and relationships.

Not surprised you posted about Disco Stu in a discussion about love and relationships.

good morning, toreup

you've been lurking hard!  nice to see you post even if it doesn't make much sense.

I am in the one relationship at a time camp, but think you can NEVER HAVE TO MUCH LOVE, EVER. What ever works for you is okay by me, not even sure why it matters what I think. Life is so short make the best of it, if no one gets hurt it's all good in my book.

Maintaining a relationship with just one person is difficult enough. But for those who want it and can handle it,

It's Your Thang
Do What You Gotta Do
I Can't Tell You
Who To Sock It To

BTW --

I'm still open to meeting my Dream Girl or Girls.

They / She has a Husky (or other outdoor sporting Dawg) of her own;
Likes to work on old Farm equipment;
Has a fine set of SAE & Metric impact sockets;
Enjoys Good Music,  Good Food,  travel,  outdoor Fun;
Culinary skills are a Huge Bonus  

Too complicated... it's hard enough to have opposite sex friends/aquaintances without jealousy and bad juju.

I cannot imagine it, nor would I ever want to even try.   One sexual relationship/partner is enough work and headaches for me, TYVM.

Does not compute.    Unless you're just a horndog, the risk vs reward potential is just not there.  So much could go wrong.

I like things simple and easy...

are you kind?

"All i know is if were up to me I would set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you."

 skipping a bunch to say with Alex there is no jealousy, as we have complete trust. I've been that way in my life, insecure, whatever, and, only this time has it been such a match from the beginning that no such issue exists. It's amazing, really !

Scarlet, for real, you are at the point in your life that the best is all you'll accept. If that means dating, sexcapades, romance, friendship... choose only those that feel equal, respectful, kind. You have never deserved less. Now you'll never settle for such again (:

I adore and respect you more than you'll ever know, my soul sister from another mister

>>i guess what i meant was sharing a relationship with someone who was also sharing a similar relationship with someone else at the same time.

I think the reason it works for us is that our individual relationships are pretty different, so it feels like an "apples and oranges" situation trying to compare them. It probably sounds weird, but I really don't get "open" relationships because of the dynamic I think you're describing. I can't imaging having a romantic relationship outside of our family. And the Poly hierarchy stuff that goes on with that is WAY too confusing for me. Primary, secondary: you almost need a flow chart. 

Now i read what i missed (;

i've banged 3 zoners but can't share names. 

^

That reads very complicated. Keepin it simple works for most folks.