it’s not an idle question these days. unless you agree with… whatever is happening with the chief executive and his accomplices, you’ve almost definitely been in a cycle of rage, disbelief, confusion, sorrow, and righteous purpose right alongside me in the last two weeks. i can’t think of a single friend who hasn’t been changed indelibly, in ways subtle and severe, by the last two weeks. permit me a story.
i am married to a man i’ve known for 21 years. he is 50% first-generation american brown people and 50% been-here-since-the-english-came white people. until the end of last year, this created in him a fierce progressive patriotism, a deep and abiding faith in the machinations of american democracy to make us our best selves. we used to argue about this constantly as kids. i have always been a snot-nose cynic about america. i have never believed we have lived up to our promise, in that “let america be america again” vein. not him. he had a sorkin-esque belief in the ship of state, in that american flag that hung in every bedroom he had.
he wasn’t naive; he knew where there was work to do. but he approached his advocacy and activism with a reformer’s zeal. he believed fervently, for example, that progressive police chiefs and prosecutors would be our deliverance from the debacle of zimmerman’s acquittal. when trayvon’s death went unpunished, i asked him to take the flag down from our bedroom wall and move it to his office. there it hung.
but on november 8, 2016, something shifted in him. it’s taken me until now to figure out what it is, but it’s a hardening towards the very nation that he’s believed in so long. that might elicit a hard, rueful chuckle out of folks who’ve never been inclined to believe that this nation can work up to its stated ideals. that’s fair. but in the man’s case, he literally exists because of those ideals working well; he’s a product of immigration and interracial marriage. he’s a living, breathing example of the glints of goodness that come through when we do rise up to our potential as a system.
so as i’m sure you can imagine, this whole “detain and/or deport all the brown people we can get our hands on, green card or no” is working on his soul to a heightened extent. stories like this keep happening. this precious baby girl brought him to tears. i wondered idly if it would’ve been smarter for him to take my last name when we married, since he’s got enough ambiguous skin privilege that an anglo name would probably have him pass all the time. he said, in easily the coldest, blankest tone i have ever heard him use:
these bastards took my country away from me. i will not let them take who i am.
the flag is folded and in a box in our spare room.
we are mourning something large, even as we fight to retain some of it. that is not a place of comfort. i had a text exchange with a friend who was checking in on us, seeing how we felt in the wake of all of this. it really felt funereal.
i say all this to say, allow yourself to feel your way through this. don’t listen to prog-dudebro weirdos who insist that “X issue is a head-fake, you should think only about Y because THAT is important” or who chastise you for rejoicing in the singular hilarious glory of the beyoncé pregnancy instagram look book. look alive, keep your head up and your eyes open, and take actions where you can.
but feel. breathe. grieve. no one - NO ONE - knows what will happen next, what consequences will arise, and what will be left when all of this inevitably ends. people will tell you “we’ve lived through worse.” a) debatable; b) a lot of us didn’t “live” through those other things. you are right to feel scared, angry, sad, confused, and desperate. manage your emotions as you see fit, provided you’re taking care of yourself.
i use history to guide me. i am a student of twentieth-century america, with a side trip into the leadup to the second world war in europe. i focused my studies on large social movements. there are lessons there for us now, profiles in courage and in weakness. if you want to join me here, i commend histories of the 1930s in europe and the 1950s in america to you. read the march trilogy. really study what nonviolent resistance was in the movement, and the strength and courage required to face that.
the only universal truth in the days to come is this: you are not alone, so do not go this alone. find your beloved community. cleave to them. you will need the warmth and support of friends and fellow travelers. find the way to resist that works for you. it takes all kinds, and all types of actions. you are needed no matter who you are.
breathe. rise up, eyes up, wise up. rest when you need to. live.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: aiq
https://medium.com/
ok that wont work
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: aiq
how are you, friends?
how are you, friends?
it’s not an idle question these days. unless you agree with… whatever is happening with the chief executive and his accomplices, you’ve almost definitely been in a cycle of rage, disbelief, confusion, sorrow, and righteous purpose right alongside me in the last two weeks. i can’t think of a single friend who hasn’t been changed indelibly, in ways subtle and severe, by the last two weeks. permit me a story.
i am married to a man i’ve known for 21 years. he is 50% first-generation american brown people and 50% been-here-since-the-english-came white people. until the end of last year, this created in him a fierce progressive patriotism, a deep and abiding faith in the machinations of american democracy to make us our best selves. we used to argue about this constantly as kids. i have always been a snot-nose cynic about america. i have never believed we have lived up to our promise, in that “let america be america again” vein. not him. he had a sorkin-esque belief in the ship of state, in that american flag that hung in every bedroom he had.
he wasn’t naive; he knew where there was work to do. but he approached his advocacy and activism with a reformer’s zeal. he believed fervently, for example, that progressive police chiefs and prosecutors would be our deliverance from the debacle of zimmerman’s acquittal. when trayvon’s death went unpunished, i asked him to take the flag down from our bedroom wall and move it to his office. there it hung.
but on november 8, 2016, something shifted in him. it’s taken me until now to figure out what it is, but it’s a hardening towards the very nation that he’s believed in so long. that might elicit a hard, rueful chuckle out of folks who’ve never been inclined to believe that this nation can work up to its stated ideals. that’s fair. but in the man’s case, he literally exists because of those ideals working well; he’s a product of immigration and interracial marriage. he’s a living, breathing example of the glints of goodness that come through when we do rise up to our potential as a system.
so as i’m sure you can imagine, this whole “detain and/or deport all the brown people we can get our hands on, green card or no” is working on his soul to a heightened extent. stories like this keep happening. this precious baby girl brought him to tears. i wondered idly if it would’ve been smarter for him to take my last name when we married, since he’s got enough ambiguous skin privilege that an anglo name would probably have him pass all the time. he said, in easily the coldest, blankest tone i have ever heard him use:
these bastards took my country away from me. i will not let them take who i am.
the flag is folded and in a box in our spare room.
we are mourning something large, even as we fight to retain some of it. that is not a place of comfort. i had a text exchange with a friend who was checking in on us, seeing how we felt in the wake of all of this. it really felt funereal.
i say all this to say, allow yourself to feel your way through this. don’t listen to prog-dudebro weirdos who insist that “X issue is a head-fake, you should think only about Y because THAT is important” or who chastise you for rejoicing in the singular hilarious glory of the beyoncé pregnancy instagram look book. look alive, keep your head up and your eyes open, and take actions where you can.
but feel. breathe. grieve. no one - NO ONE - knows what will happen next, what consequences will arise, and what will be left when all of this inevitably ends. people will tell you “we’ve lived through worse.” a) debatable; b) a lot of us didn’t “live” through those other things. you are right to feel scared, angry, sad, confused, and desperate. manage your emotions as you see fit, provided you’re taking care of yourself.
i use history to guide me. i am a student of twentieth-century america, with a side trip into the leadup to the second world war in europe. i focused my studies on large social movements. there are lessons there for us now, profiles in courage and in weakness. if you want to join me here, i commend histories of the 1930s in europe and the 1950s in america to you. read the march trilogy. really study what nonviolent resistance was in the movement, and the strength and courage required to face that.
the only universal truth in the days to come is this: you are not alone, so do not go this alone. find your beloved community. cleave to them. you will need the warmth and support of friends and fellow travelers. find the way to resist that works for you. it takes all kinds, and all types of actions. you are needed no matter who you are.
breathe. rise up, eyes up, wise up. rest when you need to. live.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: aiq
Para 5 link for "stories like
Para 5 link for "stories like this"
1. Story time: was too upset to say this morn, but my Dad - U.S. Citizen for 17 years, born in India - was strip searched last night at IAD
...twitter
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: aiq
Para 5 link for "this baby
Para 5 link for "this baby girl..."
http://www.scarymommy.com/immigration-ban-separates-breastfeeding-11-mon...
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: treat island
Your daughter's blog? It's
Your daughter's blog? It's moving, aiq.
Here's a link that works: https://medium.com/@magnolia2010/how-are-you-friends-f89035071c20#.9vgdgcgbz
(copy and past the whole thing)
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: aiq
She's my pride and joy.
She's my pride and joy.