Five Common Male Zoner Style Mistakes

St. Mark dresses like a dork.

What's up, Mark, how's the baby?

1) Yes, tight doesn't feel comfy for the Fat Man.

2) I wear these (and generally fill the extra pockets), but, DAYUM, I'm always getting caught up in drawer handles and doorknobs.

3) Thank God, NO.

4) Guilty as charged.

5) Do cargo shorts count as pants???

I'm either an 80% (or 60%) "What Not To Wear" candidate.

PS: Enjoy your cutie as much as you can.  Time changes (less changing of the you-know-whats as time passes).

Best to you and yours.

You should try a nice pair of slim fit flat front wool trousers instead.<<<

Lol

See what I mean?

...

Thelion is an apparel fascist.

I know that "cotton kills"

However, I run hot, so I'll think about the wool.  Do you suppose that I could get away with a pair of 100% polyester slacks in charcoal grey?

Thanks for your help.

OK, I'll let my wife know this important information.

She buys my slacks, socks, and underwear (often shoes as well).

I buy the Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts...from the local thrift store (ducks head).

She has worked with me for many years; slow, if unsteady, progress...

Mark has never even seen Phil leash. Not sure why he's posting on this fan message board. 

Mark has never even seen Phil leash. Not sure why he's posting on this fan message board. 

If Johnny D makes those changes, it'll take some getting used to. I may have trouble recognizing him at TXR.

JR, Mark has important information to share at the perfect time.

Penny loafers?

Not a chance. Wing tips neither.

Actually only #2 on your list applies to me.

beanies

pretentious shoes

ties

pink

fancy socks

converse

ray bans

wrist watches

>Who's Phil Leash?

lol

Mark is trying to strong arm my fashion schtick and make it his own.  Zone plagiarism should be an immediate no questions asked 30 day timeout.

3.2

Judit makes me feel like every post I make is put under a microscope.  

its like the shaq superman vs. d.howard thing...

yeah, you are being moderated man.

You got that feeling, too, JR?

VIVA! VIVA!

Meh, nothing compared to you with a pair of flat front chinos and pennyloafers.

.....

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Flip flops and jeans topped off by a Kavu visor seems about right. 

I am gravy.  Caught a little fire back there.

Forgot to add that I am wearing Tom Ford today.

ANYbody over 25 in Chuck Taylors is sadly transparent.

Oh but they're COMFORTABLE!

Yeah.

Right.

Chuck Taylors over 25 are a MAJOR tell.

And fashion is fine, but it's the shallow end of the pool.

Always remember, vanity is a sin.

Vanity is a sin but cleanliness is godliness, which could also be roughly translated as giving a damn about not looking like a slob.  Most deadheads seem to have a hard time grasping that concept. 

Exhibit a. Chaco sandals are for camping not for a night on the town. 

My work is in vein as the zeitgeist won't change.  

Gotta admit, I love my cargo shorts.. and precisely because they can carry my "drugs" around (assuming you are talking a small pipe, weed container and a lighter, with a phone on the other side). However, I also received a compliment on my Cole Hahn shoes today so I figure it cancels out my cargo short addiction in the summer. I must also admit though, that I do not like the way "Business casual" has been trending in the last three years.A nice blue blazer may be classy, but at scale it makes people look like clones.

Since I usually wear a classically understated housecoat while I stare quietly out the window, I clearly make none of the fashion mistakes pointed out in the despicable troll thread.

Mark, what's your take on socks with boat shoes?

...

At what temp do pants become stupid ?

When it's 102 degrees, you look pretty stupid sweating it out in pants.

^i believe that a Speedo is appropriate when it is 102°f 

You may wear cargo shorts, but only with cordovan wingtips and light brown socks.

There are certain fashion rules that Mark doesn't yet know. He's still young.

Another is that you can wear sandals and socks: fisherman sandals and black socks.

I was hoping this thread would be about posting styles

^brian, so I'm OK with  Birkenstocks and colorful wool socks?

im finding well woven hemp blends make for superior buttoned down work shirts.

Mnt Khakis, nice dark blue shirt, silk boxers, sweet socks, Keen Austins

Keen Austin

I owned these, not for fashion, more for function.

Dork shoes

For the weather in Vermont from November through the end of mud season in May, there is nothing as functional, dry, warm and stylish as Keene's fine line of footwear.

They're quality is outstanding and lasts far beyond their competitors.

Lol, Voodoo.

No fashion wiz myself, but trying to teach a bunch of burnt out fifty year old white guys how to dress might render itself to be difficult.

LL Bean duck boots?

Wow. I'm not sure about you anymore, Mark

Mark, I have pretty much thrown out all of my white socks, and have switched to the black nike dri fit ankle highs, like the white ones picture in that Keene pic (god is that a hideous look dark shoes white socks). Is this a good move?, signed shorts wearing old guy.

Black ankle socks are great. 

I try to keep an open mind about others choice of clothing.

I don't find it particularly fashionable when someone wears shoes with socks but that's their choice and I'm not in a position to pass judgement.

Eh, Hounder? This thread makes me as sure about Mark as ever. 

I just got my first pair of Keens (the Briggs) a month or so ago. They are butt ugly, but were 50% off, and they serve the purpose.

I haven't been into REI in years and years.

http://www.mountaingear.com/webstore//Footwear/Briggs-Leather/_/R-248591...

The next time you start one of these threads, Mark, get a more accurat title. 

"How to dress like a paralegal from Aurora, CO" should do the trick. 

And yes, accurat, is Russian. So what?

Like kompromat, but less manipulative.

I was at an REI Saturday...

Have you recovered yet, HALL? I find those places traumatic. Like, if you need that place, maybe the outdoors isn't really for you (not you, HALL).

LL Bean Boots are NOT warm on their own, nor are they intended to be. Even with the wool inserts, the bottom of your foot always gets cold in winter. They are a fall boot and were called The Maine Hunting Shoe back in the day. Plus, the rubber sole makes them very slippery on ice. However, I understand it is better to look good than to feel good...and you look marvelous

No Maine hunter ever wore a pair of those boots

>>intense research on a navy peacoat

Is that even possible?

I dress appropriately for my climate. No online research necessary. And I don't care what brand's selling.

Maybe one day you'll get a chance to feel so free. 

>>You dress like a slob

Do you have a hard time with clothing when visiting Hawaii? I don't.

Gra\/y, my first 2 full time jobs were at a backpack store and then a bike shop ('82 to '86), so I'm pretty comfortable in those environments.

and I'm glad there are those hordes who continue driving the market forward, otherwise technical gear would be even more expensive, harder to find, and less evolved.

>>>>Hawaii

I was actually there picking up some goretex rain gear for my wife for our upcoming lava boat excursion (5am out of Pahoa)...

I'm down with the island style.  Anything else can stay inland.  HALL, that sounds epic.

OK, fellas, got to go research umbrellas on final sale b/c the quite rare water is falling from the sky again.

Do you consider Colorado a good fashion benchmark?

Ok, just making sure, Mark :)

Um, id say, wear whateva you want and rock it like you own it. Forget the fascist fashionistas.  Don't worry about the cover of the book.   beauty from within and all that.

oh and  *bzzz*

(((((Dork shoes))))

Slim fitting clothes suck.  

Tie dyes have always and will always look good.

....

Do you snappy dressers live in the city?  Where I live people don't give a f*ck what you wear. 

>>>Baby is good, CB. Getting big, standing up, being amazing 

Awesomeness, Mark.

>>>Tie dyes have always and will always look good.

I wore one when I was in 7th grade cause this girl I had a crush on made it for me--it was a pretty good effort I recall.  Her name was Bess and she rocked. 

I do believe that's the only time I've ever wore one.  After the year 1971, they became a tell of desperateness for the wearer (older folks from that time period are the exception).

I'm not really ragging on folks who wear them cause I have many friends who do but I will say to anyone who's ever donned one at a concert...I've always been embarrassed for you. 

(People 60 or older not included.)

I bought a tie dye once (in the lot)... put it on, then took it right off and never wore it again (eventually put it in a clothing bin with most of my concert Ts that also rarely if ever got worn).

(((((Custy's Regret)))))

While I only wear tie-tyed socks and bandanas, I appreciate the exception for older folks about t-shirts.

Mark, great to hear about your daughter!

I don't have enough tie-dye.

Johhny D is an exception too.

He rocks those.  For real.

i've completely given up on self-respect in regards to clothing.  my family is going out to dinner saturday night to celebrate a few january bdays including my own.  i made sure to pick a bar/restaurant that can accommodate my desire to wear sweatpants.

....

Tie dye clashes with my camo apparel, so I have to be careful to only wear one or the other, but not both.

>>I made sure to pick a bar/restaurant that can accommodate my desire to wear sweatpants

Settle down St. Khaki. Going to California walmart and target to see all people wearing pajamas.

Personally, I'd invest in a pair of classic LL Bean duck boots to weather those conditions.

Fuck LL Bean and their Trump PAC supporting Heiress Linda Bean. I will never buy another one of their products.

Plus - whoever said above that LL Bean keeps you dry but not warm is correct. That is why Keen is a much better product.

I have 2 pairs of camo sweatpants, I don't usually wear them out in public though. I only wear nice, solid color sweatpants when I'm out.

Hello Zoners. Glad to be home

Mark, sorry for repeating myself, but what is your take on wearing socks with boat shoes?

Please tell me more.

I've been seeing the information about LLBean's Trump connection and I don't think I can shop there, either.

My kiddo just bought some duck boots. She was surprised to hear they are an icon for a generation.

I'm with you on that one, Judit!

'Better' fitting is not slim fitting. .ever.imo so while I agree you don't need to be swimming in your clothes , I like the feel of looser fitting clothing generally.  Im in my mid 40s so im not eager to keep up on what's in style. 

Frat boys vs real men thread.

 st mark- patron saint of mens warehouse.  Don't you have some inseams to measure?  Meh, some say manners maketh the man. And Phil wears tie dyes. sooooo

 did not know about ll bean PAC contribution and trump. add them to the list. f their stupid useless boots. probably pissed about not getting an army contract

>>>>>Frat boys vs real men thread.

I was thinking guys who know how to change a tire vs guys who call AAA

Mark, do you have a concert uniform? You know, that special outfit that only comes out at live shows?

They aren't slim fit.

Gramicci or STFU. 

im like, the middle guy, but st marky mark is like the right side guy with the hat.....

slacker is like the second guy..

Zoner style mistake #6

White pants after Labor Day.....

funny streetwang... i was going to peg you the first guy........

You were going to peg him? Like, with a strap-on?

yep.... nail him to the floor boards..

OK, brian, you are the 4th guy..... but i shant be nailing you.... im all spent.

.....

i once dropped acid on juicy fruit gum, and my whole night looked like that....

Fashion,LOLOLOL!!!

Male Zoner Style:

I know, Jaz.

Must be a millennial thing.

...

I've never worn a tie dye in my life and would be embarrassed to be seen in public with anyone wearing one. 

but  you wear yoga pants...... right?

All my clothes have become more form fitting with age. The days of baggy hoop shorts are over.

OK Stacy.

Also I think you could have bought a way better quality peocoat for way less if you jut bought one from your local army/navy surplus store. Prolly keep you warmer too. 

Mark, I agree with much of what you've been saying about fit, and especially tailored fit. However, you seem to have a very limited understanding of body types and clothing design. I'm guessing that you have always been a strapping young man, and that's your experience.

You see, the issue is often that beer gut. Men have to buy shirts to accommodate it, which precludes the tailored or trim fit clothes. The shirts big enough to comfortably accommodate the gut are usually an XL, and they are proportional. Very few who wear XL have the broad shoulders that XL are designed for. The seam is a few inches down the arm, which makes the whole thing look big and dumpy. The same goes for pants that fit the beer gut. They aren't proportional to chicken legs and always look baggy.

So, you see, it isn't always as clear cut as you make it seem.

That, and many people just don't give that big a fuck about fashion, nor do they judge people on something so vane and shallow.

Style over substance. A common logical fallacy.

Awe, a medium. You must be a cute little guy in that little peacoat :)

seriously though, we have an Army/Navy place near us. They usually have brand new Navy Peacoats, why not get the real thing?

Exactly. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/frugalmalefashion/comments/1mu1su/best_peacoat_...

socks and sandals are comfortable, tie dyes are awesome, and khaki shorts w out cargo pockets often look horrendous 

But does it have anchors on the buttons? 

Well just perfect

one can also put down the beer..... and lose said gut.......

but.... this is another thread..

gothcha mark....

today im going in for my first salon haircut in several years....  ive been giving myself buzz cuts for some time, but i think i am finally over the buzz look.... ive let it grow for a spell. and i begin the procedure today.....

no cheap ass $10 mens haircuts, man those are the worst..... its like slave labor cuts.... i prefer the salon, not for the tea and chit chat, but because i want someone who actually cares....

I hit rich town thrift stores

i score all the time. I dress like I have money. Lol. Only because I get top name anything for under five buck all the time.

Trump has digs in LLBean? That's a real bummer. 

Jonny, I also invest in a good barber cut once every 3-4 weeks.

While I might scoff at some of your style over substance approach, Mark I commend you on that dilligence to your hairstyle, Every 3-4 weeks is an excellent time frame for someone with a pre-mature receding hairline to use. Well done. I myself am good with a 4-5 week lapse between cuts, but everyone's style is different. 

Will it at least work as well as your passive aggressive posts do?

In my defense, I haven't purchased a tie dye shirt for myself since 1987.

My wife has been giving me tie dyes as gifts for years.  Even my daughter picked out a Jimi Hendrix tie dye from Target (gaspingly corporate) for me.

I think it's kind of sweet of them.

I will add that I am generally unsuccessful at wearing solid colors.  I'm always bumping into things, spilling coffee, etc.  Also, I'm generally a walking paper towel to the kids.  I like sitting on the ground, getting on my knees, etc.  Thus, Hawaiian shirts and tie dyes are ideal for incorporating the added roarshach designs lovingly added over time.

I really don't want to add more anxiety to my life by trying to keep my clothes good-looking.

Were do headbands and dashikis fit in?

You look very cool in Tye Dyes Johnny.

You are the exception that proves the rule.

All my posts in this thread are also blunt, to the point and quite heartfelt. Many are less rambling than several of your posts are too.

No.

Do you?

gut check

We're you the King of your High School Prom?

lol, Hall

Did you go to prep school?

Where were you on the night of September 18, 1986?

Do you puff the "magic dragon"?

Have you ever owned an Armani suit?

Have you ever danced in the rain?

What is your greatest strength and greatest weakness?

Do you feel that, when possible, children should be shielded from unhappiness?

What often asked question do you hate to answer?

Bunch or fold?

Do you believe in God?

Can you imagine there's no heaven? No countries? All the people living for today?

When you dance, can you really love?

6 is a stone cold troll

mark is a hipster.

This zoner is a good example of why we need these threads (cropped to avoid getting myself banned).

(((((TORSO)))

Those boots. Whole E. Shit!

6 is a stone cold troll

That's fake news, Turtle. I ask questions.

mark is a hipster.

Does he make artisan pickles and wear a fedora?

Well, do you make artisan pickles and wear a fedora?

Or, are you not a hipster and all that was just more fake Turtle news?

I Saw a pic of coyote wearing a Furthur t shirt at a Furthur show in case anyone cares. 

sweet melt!!!!!

hey mark, now... no body shaming........ if you even come close again, im going to shame all over the place...

L.L. Bean   this is a good read about them and their politics  some nice pictures of their duck boots

https://www.yahoo.com/style/l-l-bean-clarifies-stance-171606277.html

that outfit only looks good on females under 40 hall...

I've seen Turtle in wrap around Oakleys.  He will try to deny it but it's true. 

whatever, i've never owned oakleys....but i have seen you in a salmon shirt and boat shoes, not to mention the saggy baggy wigger shorts...

True :(

..

All I'm getting out if this thread is that Johnny D would be the most fun to go to a show with.

>>All I'm getting out if this thread is that Johnny D would be the most fun to go to a show with.<<<

tru dat

always phiendly & smiling.

not trying to impress anyone.

>This zoner is a good example of why we need these threads (cropped to avoid getting myself banned).

Is that Lites?

my haircut turned out great..... i will definetly more regular ...

I look good in anything I wear. It's my cross and he bear.

For a thread about a topic that most people don't care about, this one still has legs.

Funny, I thought you didn't have hair anymore, Mark. 

Start a Rogaine v Propecia thread next?

Mid 30's Zoners losing their hair are dying to know your secrets!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

I spend $72 on my hair which includes tip.

I spend $72 on my hair which includes tip.

On the upside you won't need a haircut every three weeks for much longer, Mark.

That was Tulsatime who thought you were JW. It was a pretty funny troll, actually. You went 3.9 for awhile.

..

You should probably just walk away now, Mark, and hand this thread over to JR and jonny.

ohhh kayyyyy......

so, anyways i said to my hair cutter lady..... i sez...... "how bout that snowstorm in portland.... right?"

and she was all....... "omg, i know!!!"

..

Thick hair there. 

Considered it, Mark? I've taken the plunge. 

Clothes do not make the man.

Grace, dignity and class come from within.