Joke Time
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A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
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Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Thumbkinetic
10,000 Chinese walk into a
10,000 Chinese walk into a bar...
Oh, hell. Let Rob tell it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4ErB6ciV0&list=RDTC4ErB6ciV0&start_rad...
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jazfish
Mitch Hedberg — 'I used to do
Mitch Hedberg — 'I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.'
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Druba
(No subject)
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: nebulous nelly
It's an old one...
It's an old one...
So a Drunk came staggering up to a cop and said, "Officer somebody stole my car"
The cop asked, "Where did you see it last?"
The drunk held up his keys and said, "Right here on the end of this key. "
The cops said, "You should go down to the station and file a report they have all the forms there."
The drunk began to stagger away and the cop called to him.
"Before you go into the station you had better zip up your fly."
The drunk looked down at his zipper and said, "Oh damn, they got my girl too!"
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: I rang a silent bell
GD joke compilation https:/
GD joke compilation https://youtu.be/-gyXFJ3PsIQ
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Druba
(No subject)
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Bob
Joe had suffered from severe
Joe had suffered from severe headaches for most of his adult life and was at the end of his rope. He went to see a specialist doctor. The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.