Really untraditional Christmas songs

Christmas Time This Year - Ry Cooder

Our boys and girls will be here soon coming home from war
I'm so glad it's Christmas time this year
But they'lI be going back to war again I fear
Can't they stay for Christmas time this year
Now Johnny ain't got no legs and Billy ain't got no face
Do they know it's Christmas time this year?
Tommy looks about the same but his mind is gone
Does he know it's Christmas time this year?

When is Santa coming 'round 'cause I got some requests
I bet he knows it's Christmas time this year
Military personnel might not be on his list
Don't he know it's Christmas time this year
All I want is two good arms so I can hold my kids
Then they'lI know it's Christmas time this year
I'd like a mouth so I can kiss my honey on her lips
Then she'll know it's Christmas time this year

Because it's Christmas time, Christmas time,
Yes it's merry Christmas time
Everybody stand up tall and cheer
Our children will be coming home in plastic bags I fear
Then we'll know it's Christmas time this year
Thank you Mr. President for your kind words and deeds
There's just one thing I'd like for you to hear
Take this war and shove it up your Crawford, Texas ass
And then you'll know it's Christmas time this year

Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'...

https://youtu.be/T1jrV8hgy50

Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis / Tom Waits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxVo5mjK4eg

Hey Charlie I'm pregnant and living on 9th Street
Right above a dirty bookstore off Euclid Avenue
And I stopped takin dope and I quit drinkin whiskey
And my old man plays the trombone and works out at the track

He says that he loves me even though it's not his baby
He says that he'll raise him up like he would his own son
And he gave me a ring that was worn by his mother
And he takes me out dancin every Saturday night

And hey Charlie I think about you everytime I pass a fillin station
On account of all the grease you used to wear in your hair
And I still have that record of Little Anthony and the Imperials
But someone stole my record player now how do you like that?

Hey Charlie I almost went crazy after Mario got busted
I went back to Omaha to live with my folks
But everyone I used to know was either dead or in prison
So I came back to Minneapolis this time I think I'm gonna stay

Hey Charlie I think I'm happy for the first time since my accident
And I wish I had all the money we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot and I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car every day dependin on how I feel

Hey Charlie for chrissakes if you want to know the truth of it
I don't have a husband he don't play the trombone
I need to borrow money to pay this lawyer and Charlie hey
I'll be eligible for parole come Valentine's day

Back Door Santa...

https://youtu.be/s0NoalRsk5w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpAteIqeT40

Merry Christmas From The Family, a fun song - a fav with my music pals. Instead of pampers and midol I always sang it as tampons, which I think were the original lyrics. 

A hint for anyone wanting to remember all the words in the chorus - think alphabet.

Quik Pak store before Stop and Go.

Bean dip and Diet Rite before lemons and Diet Sprite

Marlboro Lights before Salem Lights

Just have to remember they're making margaritas first instead of bloody marys and after you sing store it rhymes with cord and go rhymes with snow. Should be good after that.

I wondered if REK did this on purpose.

Since Olson's not here, I'll mention the Springsteen song about Santa getting a hummer. And I don't mean a vehicle.

here ya go.. instant holiday classic

DEAN WEEN GROUP-- XMAS DAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIqmlv_PUJs

from deaner

"Xmas Day.” If you think it’s homophobic, it's not—it’s a true story based around a conversation i had with a local gay bartender(about the worst jobs we ever had). He had a job one December working as Santa Claus at the Oxford Valley Mall here in PA. He ended up meeting one of the kid’s fathers getting photographed with him who was deep in the closet, he recognized the father from a local gay bar and ended up sleeping with him but the guy made him wear his Santa outift. I just thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard—so here it is “XMAS DAY” --by the Dean Ween Group—Deaner, Ray Kubian, and Gabe.

It's not irreverant, but maybe the best song ever written (IMHO) is "Christmas In The Trenches" by John McCutcheon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTXhZ4uR6rs   with studio version.

This version has a great story in the first 2 minutes before he sings it live. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9coPzDx6tA 

Christmas In The Trenches   - John McCutcheon

My name is Francis Tolliver, I come from Liverpool.
Two years ago the war was waiting for me after school.
To Belgium and to Flanders, to Germany to here,
I fought for King and country I love dear.

'Twas Christmas in the trenches, where the frost so bitter hung,
The frozen fields of France were still, no Christmas song was sung,
Our families back in England were toasting us that day,
Their brave and glorious lads so far away.

I was lying with my messmate on the cold and rocky ground,
When across the lines of battle came a most peculiar sound,
Says I, "Now listen up, me boys!" each soldier strained to hear,
As one young German voice sang out so clear.

"He's singing bloody well, you know!" my partner says to me,
Soon, one by one, each German voice joined in harmony,
The cannons rested silent, the gas clouds rolled no more,
As Christmas brought us respite from the war.

As soon as they were finished and a reverent pause was spent,
"God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" struck up some lads from Kent,
The next they sang was "Stille Nacht." "Tis 'Silent Night'," says I,
And in two tongues one song filled up that sky.

"There's someone coming toward us!" the front line sentry cried,
All sights were fixed on one long figure trudging from their side,
His truce flag, like a Christmas star, shown on that plain so bright,
As he, bravely, strode unarmed into the night.

Soon one by one on either side walked into No Man's Land,
With neither gun nor bayonet we met there hand to hand,
We shared some secret brandy and we wished each other well,
And in a flare-lit soccer game we gave 'em hell.

We traded chocolates, cigarettes, and photographs from home,
These sons and fathers far away from families of their own,
Young Sanders played his squeezebox and they had a violin,
This curious and unlikely band of men.

Soon daylight stole upon us and France was France once more,
With sad farewells we each prepared to settle back to war
But the question haunted every heart that lived that wonderous night,
"Whose family have I fixed within my sights?"

'Twas Christmas in the trenches where the frost, so bitter hung,
The frozen fields of France were warmed as songs of peace were sung,
For the walls they'd kept between us to exact the work of war,
Had been crumbled and were gone forevermore.

My name is Francis Tolliver, in Liverpool I dwell,
Each Christmas come since World War I, I've learned its lessons well,
That the ones who call the shots won't be among the dead and lame,
And on each end of the rifle we're the same.

Daddy's nose is red and runny.

Daddy's voice is gruff and funny.

And the only words we understand

are God and Damn and Christmas!!!