What is whiter than blues?

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Bluegrass? 

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Stinky Sealion Shit-Smelling Troll Thread

Do you listen to ethnic music? 

 

jambands?

Jamgrass

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Trey looks pretty agitated in that picture I hope that little shit in the hat didn’t make him relapse 

Johnny Winter - Be Careful With A Fool
https://youtu.be/8Tyg5SJDpiQ

 

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meanwhile, on La Zone....

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Albert firing up Morrison - Fuckin' A+ brother

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Slax, you need to listen to more/better music.

Or maybe just give up?

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Derek Trucks, yeah he used to be sumthin'. 

Wife took the wind outta that boys sails.

DTB was da shit. TTB not so much. Trucks light.

Glad I went to all them shows back in the day.

I'm going to white Mike Watt Friday. 

I don't think it's a blues show so you wouldn't like it. 

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I warmed up for RL Burnside once (he played thru my amp),  he was ancient, drooled, and still put out a stellar set.  The funny story I took home from the gig, I guess he was really worried about losing social security, so he had his two royalty checks for his albums (one hundreds of thousands, one for many hundreds of thousands) under magnets on his refrigerator that was held shut w/ a chain, lol, he never cashed them.

just wait until the cultural-appropriation outrage hits the music industry. Clapton is gonna get a lot of shit.

#thosepeopletoo

Thanks for bringin' it, Noodler. Rad story about RL.

Taco Bell

 

Herb Alpert

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I think this was a post in the Hep C folder years ago.

 

HOW TO SING THE BLUES         by Lame Mango Washington

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ...sort of:
"Got a good woman -with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Excellent Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:

a. Ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
e. you're halfway through treatment.

No, if:

a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a retirement plan or trust fund.
e. you're half way through treatment. With no side effects.

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:

a. wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

a. mixed drinks
b. kosher wine (except Mad Dog 20-20)
c. Snapple
d. sparkling water

15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:

a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:

a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name (starter kit):

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun.

Lol Judit!

20-20, liposuction?

I'll cancel my appointment.

Golf

Slacker sure got steamrolled quick on this thread. Feel sorry for the little guy. 

Pools.

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Thank you to OP for starting what is blossomed into a great thread, despite initial attempts to torpedo by perpetual wedgie-havers.

I was just listening to a killer blues-heavy album the other day, Moanin' which is on the label Blue Note which despite its name is actually a jazz label.

Hilarious and awesome pics in here.

Big Noodles, what movie is that pic at 2:49 from? Blanking. Brian Wilson doc?

I can't remember.  I was FB friends w/ Carol for a while there (liked talking Joe Pass stories with her).  But after the wrecking crew movie, her page filled up, many more political hacks, so she unfriended everyone, lol...  I think a few mutual bass player friends deservedly made the cut 

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Pretty cool, Noodles. Glad you guys made that FB connection. But just to clarify: You are aware that that's a pic of Teresa Cowles on the set of that Brian Wilson movie, where she was playing Carol Kaye? 

I didn't know that was her name, knew it was faux, but I just love that pic (never saw that movie, here's the real Carol)

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>> knew it was faux

Oh, sure. It's just I noticed you saved and posted the file as "Carol Kaye." I'd chalked it up to an "all [enter ethnicity here] people look the same to me" moment. 

I can't remember where I grabbed it from, but it's obviously not a picture from the 60's.  But when posting in the middle of the night w/ a good buzz on, I wasn't paying attention, so you got me there.

No worries though, you thought I was full of crap when I said I played guitar and upright bass w/ Charlie Rouse 

No need for the hostility, nor the projection, Noodles. I know your google-fu is unparalleled, and I don't mind your humblebrags. Plus I sure never challenged that Charlie Rouse story – great artists do workshops and clinics with students all the time.

I just thought it was funny that you thought that that clearly not-Carol Kaye pic, was a pic of Carol Kaye.

You keep doing you man, I love the google image work you do.

Thanks ( I believe my coastal pics got a FFS )

Haha well I'm not too sure about that, but holding on to something like that would certainly merit a "FFS."

Well, technically, I just gave a fuck, donated it to the page as it were....   

>>Hayley Jane and the Primates

 

haha....timely, topical, and exquisitely regional.  yes !!!

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These two were great yesterday afternoon

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This shit is racist.

Do we have any foreigners in the audience tonight? If so, please put up your hands. Wogs, I mean. I’m looking at you. Where are you? I’m sorry, but some fucking wog Arab grabbed my wife’s bum, you know? Surely got to be said, yeah, this is what all the fucking foreigners and wogs here are like, just disgusting, that’s just the truth, yeah. So, where are you? Well, wherever you are, I think you should all just leave. Not just leave the hall, leave our country. You fucking . . . I don’t want you here, in this room or in my country. Listen to me, man! I think we should vote for Enoch Powell. Enoch’s our man. I think Enoch’s right, I think we should send them all back. Stop Britain from becoming a black colony. Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I’m into racism. It’s much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs. Britain is becoming overcrowded, and Enoch will stop it and send them all back. The black wogs and coons and Arabs and fucking Jamaicans and fucking . . . don’t belong here, we don’t want them here. This is England, this is a white country, we don’t want any black wogs and coons living here. We need to make clear to them they are not welcome. England is for white people, man. We are a white country. I don’t want fucking wogs living next to me with their standards. This is Great Britain, a white country, what is happening to us, for fuck’s sake? We need to vote for Enoch Powell, he’s a great man, speaking truth. Vote for Enoch, he’s our man, he’s on our side, he’ll look after us. I want all of you here to vote for Enoch, support him, he’s on our side. Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!

 Eric Clapton, 1976– 

Man, that quote from Eric Clapton is so fucked up.

That is way fucked up!

Hey Knot, what did you think of that Mike Baggetta show? You did know it wasn't a "Mike Watt" show, right?

Did you see the opening act?

I thought the main act with Watt was just OK (not enough Watt) but I loved the Amendola/Greenlief set. 

The Duo was cool. I would have dug more of them. 

 

I knew Watt would be different. The second half picked up nicely. 

I picked up the album. It flows a little better than the beginning of their set.

Eric Clapton is the John Wayne of appropriating black music.

^ ha, after reading quote, i was thinking basically the same thing..."and now, a lil Lay Down Sally"....

A couple bottles of VSOP can bring out the surly. He took tons of heat for that. Stopped drinking and now helps others regain sobriety. I'd say he has turned it around.

What is whiter than blues?   GOLF

Pale blue?

even white boys get the blues

 

i told my mexican drinking buddies about doing pilates.

they said white people do pilates.

it was funny.

"Tiger Woods' new book paints a grim picture of racism endemic in golf"

https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/golf/tiger-woods-new-book-paints-a-grim...

Do golfers get the blues? or only gold and greens?

>>>>>>or only gold and greens?

 

 

I don't get it.

Blazers.  What color jackets do winners of the masters wear? Bonus points: double-entendre (hint: its where the hole is)

https://www.golf.com/photos/jacket-required-golfs-other-winning-blazers

Did you know the oldest golf club in America didn't admit an African American until 1989?

oh and CLAPTON IS GOD,

 

Who was that African American and why did he join that club? 

google is your friend? 

Not here to think for you baller?

enjoying your game(s)?

Do you know anything about the impact of the blues on the San Francisco rock scene? 

White Mike Watt is playing with Mike Bagetta Trio tomorrow, wish I could make it.

I saw Los Lobos tonite and they played Fats Domino.

They also played "Bertha," which I wish they wouldn't, but all the white people go bananas for it.