What's bad for the goose is bad for the gander?

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Before I go any further, let me state that I am not belittling any of the women that have been coming forward with tales of sexual harassment. I believe that all persons should be able to live in a world where harassment in any form is not a part of.  My thoughts are more of a general nature, not of a specific nature. Every situation is different depending on a multitude of things.

Over the years, I've been in a number of situations (parties, concerts, etc), usually fueled by alcohol and/or drugs, in which dicks have been waved around. Sometimes people are dared and cajoled. Sometimes they are just creeps. Sometimes they get secret subliminal messages from performing artists on stage. I could say the same about women flashing their boob, butts and genitals as well. In most cases the person showing things that aren't usually show in public situations gets a few cat calls, guffaws and comments but in a short period of time it is almost forgotten. If the person was creeping they would normally be shown the door. While it appears that most of the people at those gatherings weren't overly affected, who is to know if one or more of those people were threatened by that act. The person may just go along with the crowd in reaction for whatever reason comes to them at that time. That's not to say that they don't find a place later, filled with emotions and possibly throwing up from emotion overload. Unless that person makes it known at, or soon after, the time, others can't possible know what they are thinking.

It doesn't even have to involve showing body parts. An unwanted kiss can happen to either sex. Often the offending party does not know it is unwanted until after the attempt. But, and this is a big but, an unwanted attempt at a kiss can be deemed a sexual assault and can, and has been, prosecuted. The offending party can be deemed a sexual offender from that act alone. Even if it is at the conclusion of first/second date, even if you are trying to kiss your spouse before bed. If either party says so, it can be treated as an assault. I can only speak for myself, but there have been times where I wasn't completely sure a kiss was wanted but tried anyway. When a women made any effort to not go through with it, I retreated. But the fact that I tried could be construed as a unwanted sexual gesture.

Will we all need to fill out properly executed legal documents stating what is allowable in dating situations in the future? Will women all over the place be fired from and/or denied employment positions because they flashed some person who figures they are going to hell because they saw what should never be seen except in the confines of the marital home? Some say that any amount of alcohol in one's system means that you are intoxicated and can't give legal consent for any actions. 

The above are just thoughts for discussion. As a male, I've seen many situations where guys have forced or tried to force themselves on women. I have also gotten into physical altercations with those males when I confronted them and told them to knock it off. Some people are just dicks and should pay the price for their dickishness. 

What do all of you think? 

That chick's yearbooks back when she was a prep-school youth are supposedly here.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/eh40lzl4qkjrkld/AADwR5PPspYU5gj_3noSjdiia?dl=0

My Dog humps other Dogs at Dog Park.  I tell H.I.M.  "NO HUMPING !!"  but he still does.  Other Dogs hump H.I.M. as well. 
Usually they all seem to be having Fun,  and the majority of owners don't give a Hoot.  Dogs will hump,  given the opportunity.

Occasionally he will  hump a Pit-Bull variant,  which will attempt to scrap w/ Hüsky and bite H.I.M.  However,  I separate those dogs and they never actually bite each other.

I'll be following this thread with great interest and certainty hope that people think a little before they commit themselves to printed words. 

 

 

I'll start with the simple observation that being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, while perhaps a plausible explanation, does not hold up as an excuse for exhibiting illegal behaviors.  One is always responsible for what they do. 

 

Of course, there are those who are deemed incompetent, but they generally face similar consequences when caught. 

 

All of this shared as a layperson, of course. 

What about intoxication being a reason why someone could not give consent? Tony mentioned "any amount of alcohol".

How hard is to to understand that you just need to ask for  and get consent before you make the moves?

For example ‘can I kiss you’ 

 

and it shouldn’t have to be stated, but if your object of desire is already passed out or extremely intoxicated, you don’t have consent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>> How hard is to to understand that you just need to ask for  and get consent before you make the moves?

Like Louie CK?

>>>>Over the years, I've been in a number of situations (parties, concerts, etc), usually fueled by alcohol and/or drugs, in which dicks have been waved around

Jim Morrison getting wasted and whipping his dick out on stage isn't quite the same as pinning a 15 year old girl to a bed and trying to rape her.   

 Ender - that makes no sense

>> Ender - that makes no sense

You said it's as basic as asking for consent. It's not.

Louie CK did that:

At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O.K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/10/arts/television/louis-ck-statement.html

How hard is to to understand that you just need to ask for  and get consent before you make the moves?

For example ‘can I kiss you’ 

 

and it shouldn’t have to be stated, but if your object of desire is already passed out or extremely intoxicated, you don’t have consent.

I agree. In the situation you described it's a no brainer. It becomes a little more grey when your object of desire has some intoxicants in their bloodstream. 1 beer and it's ok? Noticeably buzzed? And it can be differenJim Morrison getting wasted and whipping his dick out on stage isn't quite the same as pinning a 15 year old girl to a bed and trying to rape her.  t for every person out there. 

Jim Morrison getting wasted and whipping his dick out on stage isn't quite the same as pinning a 15 year old girl to a bed and trying to rape her. 

Again I agree. But as I said, I am trying to facilitate discussion here, not comment on specific cases in the news. 

Whatever, obviously there was more to the story there. if anyone gave consent to see his willy willingling then he did nothing wrong. Well, except that you shouldn’t be doing that to coworkers in the office, which may have been the case. New rules about the casting couch etc...

 

And yes, I would still argue that it’s as simple as asking for consent, and yes consent can be withdrawn or not given for specific acts.

 

 

>. It becomes a little more grey when your object of desire has some intoxicants..

 

when  in doubt or in the grey, keep it in your pants. Simple enough.

 

 

My dog humped a Jim Morrison imitator in a fake Doors band.  Dog was sober,  not sure about Fake Jim.

They both seemed to enjoy their Fake Sex.

Stu, fuck off with the fucking  dog fucking stories

 

Sure Nancy, 

Just as soon as you drop your Hyper-Prude judgmental Krap.

If I was some uptight, busybody Fake Moralist like you,  I could say that your use of the F-word is highly offensive and will ruin Children's minds.

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Keeping it Weird

 Nancyinthesky on Monday, September 24, 2018 – 04:59 pm

Stu, fuck off with the fucking  dog fucking stories..."

And NO, your dog is no capable of give you fucking consent, Stu.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriouselee, there gotta be a better place on the inter webs where Stu can share his fucking dog fucking fantasies

Again with the F-word.  My Grandma is upset.

But in your mind it's OK to type profanity, and juggle Chinese glo-stuff at rock concerts,  obstructing others' views.
Meanwhile,  you consider a few dogs humping reason for a Grand Jury Trial.  Of course at the taxpayers' expense.

Actually,  he tends to hump other neutered male dogs.  Maybe you are discriminating against H.I.M. because he is a Gay Dawg.

But I'm not going to petition for laws to be passed against bigots like yourself.
Don't expect for Hüsky. to ever allow you to pet or touch H.I.M. though.  He loathes homophobes.

Dogbook?

 

Plentyofdogs.com?

 

Instapup?

We get it Stu, you got the hots for your Husky, that doesn’t make me a homophobe you fucking idiot. 

I see dudes of all sizes walking around topless all the time. Not even tempted to grope their manmams.

a kiss attempt should not be construed as assault.

 

 

I think if you force someone to kiss you, like, physically holding them or cornering them in some way when they're definitely not responding favorably, it's assault. 

Obviously, if you attempt to kiss them, and get the pull back, then stop because they're not into it, it's not assault. Better luck next time!

when  in doubt or in the grey, keep it in your pants. Simple enough.

Again, I agree with that statement. One should keep "it" in their pants. But what about an attempted kiss of someone who has had a beer? To go even further, a whole lot of people who weren't sure desire would be recirprocated have attempted to kiss someone with positive results. Hell, there is a segment of the population that have never been sure, both male and female. How does one know? If they ask and receive permission, how does one know that the permission giver does not feel threatened to say yes? Unless there is a whole lot more discussion than a simple, "Can I kiss you?", they don't know. 
 

I probably won’t ever sit on the Supreme Court.

Don't make out with strangers, Tony?

this ‘feeling threatened to say yes’ is not something to worry about  - unless you’re threatening them of course 

When it’s someone who is underage or a working/professional  associate  then it really shouldn’t matter because you should Not  be hitting on them. In those situations they might feel threatened to say yes. Especially if it’s someone working for you, dare I say under you and in fear of losing their job

I'm a woman who has been assaulted as have so many others. It started when I was at school in junior high school. Through the years there were attempts by other guys (young men, adult men) in all sorts of locations and situations.

As men, you probably don't know the feeling of being touched by someone copping a feel (someone you know or don't know) without your consent, of someone standing up against you with an erection without your consent, of being held down while being (fill in the blank) without your consent.

Discussion? You either have consent, permission, agreement, or you don't.

 

Stu, I usually enjoy your dog stories, but not this time. You are minimizing the pain, fear, anger, etc. that women are suffering following assaults.

If you ever have said, "I want a real kiss" to a woman...you probably *should* have contracts drawn up instead of relying on your instinct

After scouring the yearbook, I found a Bobby chick on page 70. 

This morning I was listening to Pearl Bailey singing a song called "A Woman's Perogative", that's chorus is that "it's a woman's perogative to change her mind".  It struck me that it's really any person's perogative.  If someone says no, at any point, it means no.  It's pretty simple.

Boundries....set yours, respect others....

Being under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs @ 17 years old is definitely exhibiting illegal behaviors.

is one of the douche crew pictured above actually cavanaugh?

As men, you probably don't know the feeling of being touched by someone copping a feel (someone you know or don't know) without your consent, of someone standing up against you with an erection without your consent, of being held down while being (fill in the blank) without your consent.

How about 2 out of 3? I have received unsolicited and unwanted kisses, had my crotch and butt groped, had a woman try to pull my hand into her pants and had 2 women attempt to unzip my pants while I was standing on the back of the crowd barrier up front to take photos and 1 of them probably would have pulled me into her mouth if her friend didn't stop her.  I made it known immediately to all of them that I wasn't interested but some of those women didn't take the first couple of my "not interested" as NOT INTERESTED.  I've also had a gay male who was attempting to be flirty with me grind my leg with a noticeable erection.  I told him he was barking up the wrong tree and he stopped, apologized and went away.  In all cases my reaction was sometimes felt put upon, sometimes amused at the drunken behavior and never at risk. I'm sure if I was being held down I would feel a lot more anger and perhaps fear. No means no. 

 

Disco Stupid

Another aspect of having men doing these things to women is that in most cases the man is stronger and/or bigger. I am a short person, easily towered over by most adults.

I'm sorry that you, too, Tony, have had those experiences, even while never feeling at risk.

I'm afraid of big dudes.

Please ban H.I.M

or at a minimum a pro longed time out

 

 

it's just too much to bear and it's hard to skip all the posts by just go disco

if his owner sticks to music, perhaps......

it is a rather interesting thread and I am somewhat  surprised it's hosted by further

carry on

Is Stu the pitcher or catcher in his creepy relationship with his dog?