Words of Encouragement/Porn Suggestions??
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I was asked today by a friend along with the Vivid entertainment team to have some "words" prepared for the 35th AVN "ceremony" at the end of the month... I despise pubic speaking and the thought of it is already making me nervous but that's not really the hard part! (wink) I have no idea where to start, what to say, should I reference a porno or scene??? 5 of my beloved smut studs as well as my own mom will be driving up to Las Vegas so ass is pretty special to me....
where do I start??? I love pornography and masturbation but am feeling stumped with this one....
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Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: FlutterBy
Tell them about your personal
Tell them about your personal fetishes and how porn satisfies them.
And, always, open with a dick joke
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: FlutterBy
If it's the AVNs, throw in
If it's the AVNs, throw in some "let's fuck some whores," "hit em with the Hein," or, the standard "baba booey"
It'll kill
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: .............
Touchy subject....especially
Touchy subject....especially w Mom there....
Id recommend using a british accent, and dont write a script.....ya, dont prepare at all, go in blind, and just shoot from the hip. The british accent is key, because they have much better terms and catch phrases on these topics...jackin the beanstalk is so much better than chokin the chicken, dont ya think?
Watch a few episodes of Monthy Python and then just wing it.
And, if it doesnt go over well, your Mom can pretend she doesnt know you.
Good luck
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jonaspond
Incest porn is all the rage.
Incest porn is all the rage. Your mom being in the room would tie the whole thing together.
And what Jill said.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Lucky Day
Interesting what this thread
Interesting what this thread is revealing about peoples porn habits.
Best spinoff thread ever.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: That’s Nancy with the laughin’ face
Wait, you mean to say that
Wait, you mean to say that the poem thread wasn't the spin off? how disappointing.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Scarlet
Hmmm... not sure I can reveal
Hmmm... not sure I can reveal my fetishes AND keep my job.. oh wait, wrong thread I'm in the porn industry on this here thread.. in that case, they'll love me!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jonaspond
>Interesting what this thread
>Interesting what this thread is revealing about peoples porn habits
I thought this thread was a joke? No?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Scarlet
yes, i should hope so cause
yes, i should hope so cause if I was really in the porn industry, I'd have folks gauging their eyes out!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: .............
But, but, but...nobody
But, but, but...nobody finished w "true story" or "fact" so, therefore, ....
Im confused
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Jay
Nice.
Nice.
Tell Sasha Grey and Eva Angelina "Hello".
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Bucky Badger
I feel bad for the youth of
I feel bad for the youth of today. I think it's good to have a progression. Woods porn > fool around with chicks your age > porn movies.
Now they're able to see anything they want right out of the batters box. I'm pretty sure my little brain would have been even more warped if I was watching milf gang bangs from day one.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Lucky Day
I think if you stick to sex
I think if you stick to sex puns like in the OP you'll kill. Everybody knows puns are the highest form of comedy.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: FlutterBy
So long as someone is
So long as someone is laughing.
Most especially, the author!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jeff
What is over 50 born called?
What is over 50 born called? Asking for a friend.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Highnote
".... So I was putting grape
".... So I was putting grape jelly on my boyfriend's penis when I thought to my self, whoa, I've become my mother...." - Sarah Silverman -
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jon
>>>>>Interesting what this
>>>>>Interesting what this thread is revealing about peoples porn habits.
timmy has revealed he likes to watch..
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: dimethyllovebeam
did porn script writers
did porn script writers actually exist?
Dr Johnson, can you take my temperature?
Of course, I'm a proctologist.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: jazfish
And, always, open with a dick
And, always, open with a dick joke<<per Jill.
A couple big dig jokes from Drew Cary's book, 'Dirty Jokes and Beer'.
My dick is so big it has it's own dick. My dick's dick is bigger than most dicks.
My dick is so big it has an elbow.
Perhaps working in a self depreciating joke and move on.
Just a suggestion, yet if your penis is slung over your shoulder at stage call the opening joke would be moot. Of course.